Moving towards inner peace

The lead-up to my return to work last week was chaotic, with my "flight or fight" mechanism turned way up, my Inner Child kicking and screaming, and my Inner Critic voicing her dislike, pointing at my flaws, and being quite disappointed overall.

Thank goodness I have tools to manage my energy!  And thank goodness I remembered to use them!!  The night prior to my return to work I took a nice long shower using a sea salt scrub, with the intention of clearing my energy field and relaxing muscles and mind.  I did several rounds of Tapping.  I prayed to be able to stay calm and centered while observing the facts from a higher perspective, gaining insights on the higher purpose of my return to work.

And it worked.

What a relief.

I learned so much about myself in one week, and I was able to release so many old, outdated and negative patterns.  I felt much lighter and empowered.  I still felt a bit shaky in some areas, like a fawn trying her legs out for the first steps.  I am just so amazed to seeing how my transformational work has changed me.  I am so grateful that I have a perfect environment where I can apply my techniques.  I proved to myself that these techniques work, and work fast!  I know this richness of experience is making me a better person, and a better teacher.

Here are some of my biggest "AHA" moments of the week:

• Sea salt baths and sea salt scrubs work miracles to help me stay focused on the positive.  I read before that the sea salt's properties help neutralize the positive ions in one's energy field, leaving more space for the peaceful negative ions.  In the New Age field, we might say that we would prefer keeping the positive ions...  but remember science class in High School: the positive ions are the ones that are charged, while the negative ions are not.  The positive ions in your energy field are the ones that have attracted and became "glued" to elements of the environment, including other people's energy - so your energy field is vibrating with all these elements that are not yours.  It is best for one's energy field to be cleansed of all these "energetic debris" that you've picked up through the day.  I always feel centered, reenergized and calm after using a sea salt product to cleanse my aura.
• The voice of fear is a frequency that can be turned down and tuned out.  I realized how much fear I was carrying, and how loud that inner voice was.  If I would think of changing the time of a meeting, that voice would loudly state that it was not feasible, that it was unreasonable, that I would be denied my request, that others would be angry with me, how could I dare even ask...  Whoa, Nelly!  I have challenged that voice this week, asking her "is that really true?  Let's just try and see."  And then I would make a point of noticing positive evidences like, "You see, it was easy to change the time of that meeting.  I noticed how open and receptive to my ideas others actually were."  Slowly but surely, the voice of fear from that inner critic is diminishing.
• Weird things happen when you live out your shadow.  I grew up with a sister who was very dramatic, vocal, emotional and at times violent.  I suffered deep hurts, and I noticed how she was hurting other family members.  I vowed to never be like her.  The trouble is, when you vow to never be like someone else, you are denying yourself a part of who you are.  I realized how much I had been denying my own power, my own emotions and my own needs.  Not expressing my needs out of fear of being like someone who hurt me has actually not served anyone.  It created resentment in me in addition to low self-esteem; I was resentful that others would not meet my needs and my expectations...  but if I could not even formulate these needs for myself, how could others even begin to decode what they are, let alone meet them?  Resentment narrows one's perspective and darkens the experience of life.  Wow - huge life lesson here and continued transformation in progress.
• Living in the moment is a gift.  Part of my commitment to myself was to police my thoughts.  Every time I noticed my thoughts went in a direction that felt icky, I would notice 1-3 positive things in the present moment, and I would affirm these out loud.  If I noticed my thoughts were going toward the "oh for goodness' sake this work is crap" sinkhole, I would reply with, "but notice how beautiful it is outside today, and how lucky I am to be working from home with the windows open, feeling the breeze on my skin."  These statements instantly shifted the energy of my thoughts.

I am happy to notice that, at the start of Week 2, I am more at peace with my decision to return to the corporate world.  I am very happy to be learning life lessons and releasing karma.  Most of all, I keep holding on to the knowledge that Universe has something else planned for me that just wasn't quite ready yet (I wasn't quite ready yet), and pieces of the puzzle are now coming together nicely.  I am very grateful that the next time I leave corporate world, it will be with a light heart and not the with the heavy, angry and resentful heart I once had.  Healing is such a wonder-filled journey!

I am very grateful that the person who will replace me is being prepared on the energy level.  I know this replacement will become manifest in the very near future, and I am so excited about all the new projects and opportunities coming my way!  

'Twas the night before the big day...

...and all through my body icky crawlers were stirring.  The jaw is tightening and the heart rate is up.  The neck has a creak and I'd go belly-up.  WHY? The heart is crying, "Why do I have to go back?"  Acid reflux, and jitters, ants in the legs and a mind going bonkers...  Holy tamale, I'm going through the wringer.

http://www.thedailydoodles.com/post/51853397008/the-monsters-in-the-night-everyone-in-the-car

And then I stop and I breathe.  I talk to my dog and we set out for a walk.  She sniffs at Fall leaves and rolls in the ditch; I enjoy the cool air, the blue sky, the birds and the River. I remember to have a good dinner.  My glass of wine is a nice treat.   I set out my good clothes.  I remember my techniques for scaring away the ghosts and ghoulies.  Bye-bye, creepy crawlers.  I know I can choose my thoughts and my emotions, and I choose to whoosh you away.  And I stop and I breathe.

My books and my papers, my office pass and my lunch - all are ready tonight to ease up my frown.

In a moment I will soak in a nice hot bath, with 2 cups of sea salt to balance me out.  I'll add lavender and chamomile too, for I know a good sleep will do wonders for you.  And I'll tap on my emotions, my tears and my fears.  And I'll set my intentions for magic and ease.  I'll surround myself in a big bubble of Reiki and Light.  And I trust that I'm secure, I'm safe and I'm loved.  And I trust I can pull through for the Big Guy's rooting for me too.

Just for tonight, I release anger.  Just for tonight, I release worry.

All is well.  All is well.

And to all, a good night...

 

A miraculous shift!

I experienced my first "tapping miracle" yesterday - woot woot!  I am delighting in the change in feelings and perspective this has brought.  I feel lighter, brighter, happier!

One year ago, I decided to leave my cushy government job to pursue my dream of working in the spiritual field full time. Needless to say in one year the earnings from my start-up business is only a tiny sliver of what I used to make for the government - which is a huge point of stress for my husband. He went on one of his verbal and non-verbal disapproval rampage yesterday, and I stood up for myself, telling him that I did not accept his behaviour and his words.  (Standing up for myself and setting boundaries is quite an achievement for me in and of itself!)

He left to run some errands and I retreated to my office for some huge tapping rounds. (Video here on how to tap.)  I tapped on how angry I felt, on how I don't want to be triggered by his behaviour anymore, on how sad and unsupported this whole situation made me feel, and I asked for divine help to rewire my thinking to keep focusing on the positive. I felt better. Not completely healed, but I had released the trigger in the moment, and some other underlying emotions.

The "miracle" is that when he came back from his errand, he apologized. I was very surprised since it's one of the first times he apologized and realized how much he was reacting like his own father. And it's one of the first times that I felt receptive to his apology and felt grateful for it. It felt genuine and uplifting. I'm new to tapping, but if it can make differences like this in my life, it's a practice I will stick to!!  

I can testify from experience now that when you change your energy, you have a ripple effect on the people around you.  It truly is up to us, in every moment, to choose the energy we want to contribute to any and all situations.  

And therefore, strong with this experience, I feel a bit more ready to return to work tomorrow knowing that I can change my energy and therefore transform the negative experienced that was into a healing and releasing experience for all involved.  

Would you like for me to share a script for tapping through anger and disappointment?  I would be happy to type it out and share it with you.