'Twas the night before the big day...

...and all through my body icky crawlers were stirring.  The jaw is tightening and the heart rate is up.  The neck has a creak and I'd go belly-up.  WHY? The heart is crying, "Why do I have to go back?"  Acid reflux, and jitters, ants in the legs and a mind going bonkers...  Holy tamale, I'm going through the wringer.

http://www.thedailydoodles.com/post/51853397008/the-monsters-in-the-night-everyone-in-the-car

And then I stop and I breathe.  I talk to my dog and we set out for a walk.  She sniffs at Fall leaves and rolls in the ditch; I enjoy the cool air, the blue sky, the birds and the River. I remember to have a good dinner.  My glass of wine is a nice treat.   I set out my good clothes.  I remember my techniques for scaring away the ghosts and ghoulies.  Bye-bye, creepy crawlers.  I know I can choose my thoughts and my emotions, and I choose to whoosh you away.  And I stop and I breathe.

My books and my papers, my office pass and my lunch - all are ready tonight to ease up my frown.

In a moment I will soak in a nice hot bath, with 2 cups of sea salt to balance me out.  I'll add lavender and chamomile too, for I know a good sleep will do wonders for you.  And I'll tap on my emotions, my tears and my fears.  And I'll set my intentions for magic and ease.  I'll surround myself in a big bubble of Reiki and Light.  And I trust that I'm secure, I'm safe and I'm loved.  And I trust I can pull through for the Big Guy's rooting for me too.

Just for tonight, I release anger.  Just for tonight, I release worry.

All is well.  All is well.

And to all, a good night...

 

A miraculous shift!

I experienced my first "tapping miracle" yesterday - woot woot!  I am delighting in the change in feelings and perspective this has brought.  I feel lighter, brighter, happier!

One year ago, I decided to leave my cushy government job to pursue my dream of working in the spiritual field full time. Needless to say in one year the earnings from my start-up business is only a tiny sliver of what I used to make for the government - which is a huge point of stress for my husband. He went on one of his verbal and non-verbal disapproval rampage yesterday, and I stood up for myself, telling him that I did not accept his behaviour and his words.  (Standing up for myself and setting boundaries is quite an achievement for me in and of itself!)

He left to run some errands and I retreated to my office for some huge tapping rounds. (Video here on how to tap.)  I tapped on how angry I felt, on how I don't want to be triggered by his behaviour anymore, on how sad and unsupported this whole situation made me feel, and I asked for divine help to rewire my thinking to keep focusing on the positive. I felt better. Not completely healed, but I had released the trigger in the moment, and some other underlying emotions.

The "miracle" is that when he came back from his errand, he apologized. I was very surprised since it's one of the first times he apologized and realized how much he was reacting like his own father. And it's one of the first times that I felt receptive to his apology and felt grateful for it. It felt genuine and uplifting. I'm new to tapping, but if it can make differences like this in my life, it's a practice I will stick to!!  

I can testify from experience now that when you change your energy, you have a ripple effect on the people around you.  It truly is up to us, in every moment, to choose the energy we want to contribute to any and all situations.  

And therefore, strong with this experience, I feel a bit more ready to return to work tomorrow knowing that I can change my energy and therefore transform the negative experienced that was into a healing and releasing experience for all involved.  

Would you like for me to share a script for tapping through anger and disappointment?  I would be happy to type it out and share it with you.

How can I transform anger into positivity?

That voice on the other end of the line again.  That curt, impersonal, "I don't really care", "got to follow rules" vibe.  Triggered.  My reptilian brain at the base of my skull is fully turned on in the "fight or flight" mode and can't decide which one to choose, since neither are socially acceptable.  My blood stream is filled with adrenaline, my eyes narrow in "the look", my jaw tightens - heck it feels like my whole skin is tightening (but not like I'm-20-again kind of way).  My energy field shrivels up.  I feel life force energy seeping out of me.  My inner child is kicking up quite the tantrum on the inside.  I feel angry about revisiting a chapter of my life I had wanted to close a year ago and now feels like unfinished business with no firm end in sight.  It's depressing.  It's gloomy.  It's frustrating.

I hate feeling like this!  I hate being triggered like this!  Ugh!

And I'm a Lightworker, darn it!  I should know better.  I know the importance of thinking happy thoughts.  I know like attracts like.  I know I am most likely firing anger daggers to the person on the other end of the line.  I know I am creating this reaction in my body with my thoughts.  I know I have the freedom to choose my thoughts and my emotions.  I know my perception of things is narrowed by my anger.  I know that my anger says more about me than about anyone else involved (here's a blog entry covering that topic).  I know the Reiki lesson of "responding" vs. "reacting"...  Yet I'm totally reacting.  And reacting that I'm reacting.

Have you been there before?  

The thing is, I have been studying all these great spiritual, psychological and philosophical principles for a good long time.  I am now being tested on my ability to apply them in everyday life.  Not just when it's convenient, when I am in meditation, or when I am with someone I like.  I now have to learn to apply these principles to the icky, uncomfortable, ego-in-the-way situations and relationships of every day.  *sigh*

Here's the situation: after a 1-year sabbatical, I needed to give my answer whether or not I would be returning to work.  I don't want to return to the office and to that office environment.  I don't want to return to work that is unfulfilling and makes me feel like I have drifted away too far from my soul purpose.  I want to continue to grow my business.  Yet, my savings account is running low on fuel, so to speak, and a fill'er up with a steady income is necessary.  The first year of operating my business has been more about soul growth, rest, and rebuilding myself rather than marketing and networking.  I feel stuck and too attached to that source of income...

So what do I do now?

Right after that triggering phone call, I went for a walk.  I actually ran a block or two, and I'm not a runner.  It felt good to use the surge of adrenaline from the fight-or-flight trigger to do what it's programmed to do: make me run away from that invisible and proverbial tiger.  That bit of exertion enabled me to think more clearly by flushing away the excessive hormones.  The bonus is that now I have a clue about what to do when I feel triggered: go out for a walk!  My body needs it!

I know that the manager who called me is a good person deep down (*very* deep down, snickers my ego...).  She is only doing her duty, her follow-up work.  She is not out there to get me.  And she is most likely reacting in her way to all those negative anger vibes I'm sending her way.  The best way to shift the relationship is by changing the energy I am sending into it.  To paraphrase Einstein, I will not find the solution to the situation with the same energy that created the problems.

Easier said than done?

That is the test now, and I welcome all positive vibes to support me through this paradigm shift!

What's the plan, Stan?

1.  Count my blessings

• The salary will help replenish my savings account and pay off some debt
• The salary will put me (and my spouse!) at ease, financially - a bit of a breather
• I will be able to treat myself and others during the upcoming holiday season
• I will get out of the house more, and have more interaction with others
• I'll get to purchase new office clothes, and shoes!
• I'll have some money for spiritual retreats, training and travel
• I'll get to see some coworkers I haven't see in a year, and catch up 
• I'll get to go to the "big city" and purchase the good coffee, salads, lunches I missed
• This is such a great job, with a good stable salary and benefits
• The 9 to 5 routine will help me become more productive and focused; I have been living in my head and imagination for the past few months

...OK, I'm starting to feel better...

2.  Remember my soul purpose

• I am to lead by example - going through such a test of my ability to apply spiritual principles will make me a better teacher, more authentic and "relatable"
• I am going to learn valuable life lessons, and release some karma
• Some people at work (and elsewhere) need to be inspired by my transformation, so that they can in turn work on their own transformation

...OK, I am breathing more deeply and slowly now that I understand the bigger picture

3.  Daily practice

• Remember to center and shield myself every morning
• Remember to use salt spritz and salt scrubs to cleanse my energy, every evenings
• Choose at least one fun activity to do every day, and share this fun with others.  (This weekend, I will shop for a new pair of "office" shoes and one new outfit.  On Monday, I will go for an EXCELLENT coffee with a colleague.  I am looking forward to it!).
• Ask for help from my divine team!  I need help seeing the good in all situation and in all people (especially those who trigger me!), I need help remembering the bigger picture, I need help to remember to breathe calmly, I need help to release emotional attachments and triggers, I need help to remember to take walks and find joyful moments every day, I need help to remember to notice when tension is building in my body and to do the necessary action to release this tension in a loving and supportive way...
• Be my "thought-police" and notice the thoughts I entertain.  Choose to release those that don't support my wellbeing or that of others.  For instance, focusing on "she a bee-hatch" isn't serving anyone.  For one short half-a-moment, perhaps...  but I can't hold on to that thought.  Focusing on "I'm stuck" is not helpful either.

...whoa!  I will be working on so many levels at once while trying to be productive with the work they actually pay me to do!  Add "Self-care" to my daily practice!!

4.  Activate a spiritual template

• All my spiritual teachers have mentioned that what you focus on, you create...  So I better start creating the template for what I want instead of festering in the energy of what I do not want.
• Here's my order form to Divine Universe:  "I am so grateful that an alternate is identified for my position, and that this wonderful person will be happy to take over my job position in three to six months' time.  I am so grateful that I will be able to benefit from the severance package this alternation will provide.  This alternation process will be easy, effortless and fulfilling for all parties involved."
• And also, "I am grateful for all the life lessons I am learning while I release karmic baggage and close this chapter of my life with grace and gratitude."
• "I am grateful that I can work on projects that are fulfilling, and bring me joy."

...OK, I feel much calmer now.  Please send good vibes my way to activate these templates!  It does feel good to write wishes down in the present tense, it does bring the energy of the solution closer and more palpable.

5.  Attitude of Gratitude

• In the big picture of things, I am grateful that my relationship with recent managers has been so tense and frustrating, because it is those exact feelings that have brought me to launch my business adventure full-time much quicker than I had originally anticipated.  I am working on what brings me joy, and my dream is much closer to my reach than it would have been if I was content with the status quo.  If we had a soul contract, and her part of the bargain was to jump-start me into my new adventure, she played her role with brio.  We will both be relieved when our contract is fulfilled!
• I have learned so much about myself in this year of sabbatical.  I have learned that being creative and following my intuition is at the core of my being - no wonder I don't do well in authoritarian, risk-adverse work environment!  I know that I'm an idealist, and I have found through my spiritual teachings a way to share my views of the world with like-minded people, ready to take action to make this world a better place.  
• I feel good about myself now, much more than I ever have before in my life.  Saying "yes" to me and taking time off work to reflect was the best gift I ever gave myself.  I am so grateful to me for that, and I am better prepared to support my inner guidance now.
• As part of my daily practice, I will find at least 5 things everyday for which I am grateful.

Can I count on you to send me positive vibes during this (last?!?) phase of this transformation?

I will share my progress and insights on this blog.  It will help me vent, and typically I see clearer when I write.  I also hope that my experience will be of benefit to others going through change.

Many blessing of Love and Light to all!

House cleaning on the blog! New page on workshops!

Phew! I finally took some time today to "clean" the pages and tabs of my blog.  I hope you'll find the information is more streamlined.

I am particularly proud of this new page: Invite me to your home or workplace!  I have outlined several workshops I am ready to take on the road.  Wouldn't you love to host one of my workshops in your home, workplace or community hall?

Several charitable campaigns are starting this season - ask me how my workshops and services can be adapted as an activity to help your fundraising efforts.

I am looking forward to meeting you, in Love and Light.

Fundraising for Autism - Sunday September 15, 2013

http://www.connectingpieces.net/

I am so happy to announce that I will help collect funds for #Autism at the opening of the Connecting Pieces Family Services Centre! I will do 20-minutes Intuitive and Tarot readings for $10, with 30% of proceeds going to Autism! I will also give away coupons for a complementary 1-hour Exploration Session. There will be so much good stuff going on in Embrun next Sunday; come have fun with us! I you want a personal reading, I suggest you book your spot in advance by sending me a private message: my sign-in sheet typically books quickly! Les rendez-vous sont aussi disponibles en français.

968 Notre Dame Street, Embrun, Ontario
8:30AM - 4PM (first appointment at 9AM)

Embrace Oneness...

Here's a powerful quote from Marianne Williamson and a photo I took while walking in a forest trail near White Rock, BC. Feel the energy of the old forest, and accept the wisdom of the earth as you connect with your higher self and the all-there-is... Breathe...

Asking for, and being open to receiving blessings

Reading: E-Squared by Pam Grout, Principle #1: The Dude Abides.


I am currently reading E-Squared and am committed to doing the suggested experiments. The first hypothesis is that there is a greater, all-loving force "out there" and that we can have conversations with this force of Love. Well, at least monologues on our part at first To test the hypothesis, the experimenter is to ask a blessing of this force, and ask that this blessing appears within 48 hours. This blessing would prove beyond doubt that this Force exists, hears us and works for our highest good.

Even prior to the experiment, I had no doubt at all that this force of Love does indeed exist. I feel it in my heart, in my entire being. And yet, it was good to receive several blessings these past 48 hours. My gifts were free tickets to see an amazing exhibition at Les Jardins Botaniques in Montréal, and I was also delighted to see the number of fans on my Facebook page grow to 101 - such an angelic number! According to Doreen Virtue, in her book "Angel Numbers 101", the number 101 means "As you let go and let God, your thoughts automatically become more positive, and this elevated vibration attracts all good things into your life." The number 101 also reminds me of the "101 Dalmatians" and the "dog communication chain" that author Pam Grout references in chapter 1 of E-Squared.

And then, there was quite the synchronicity this morning... As this is Grandparents' day, we decided to attend church with my parents this morning. Those of you who know me are aware that I have a big decision pending: returning to work for corporate world, or officially cut the ties and truly work on manifesting an even bigger version of my dream. The First Reading was about the need to cut all ties preventing you to follow Spirit, and the homily went into more details about following Spirit (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the gist...). My mother thought the homily had been written for me...

So are these blessings enough from the fount of all Love, providing me the true guidance I so deeply desire? Do I need more proof that I am divinely guided, and that, if I follow my heart and the nudgings of my spirit, I will be okay??

Are you reading E-Squared? Please share your experience in the comments field below.

Many blessings of Love and Light to all!

Spiritual Energy Reading, September 2013: Affirm your highest dream, and shoot for the stars!

Decks used: John Holland “The Psychic Tarot”; Doreen Virtue “Healing With The Angels Oracle Cards”; Colette Baron-Reid “Wisdom of the Hidden Realms” 

It is my pleasure to share with you this oracle card reading! The question I asked, on our collective behalf, is for Spirit to clarify the general energy in which we are called to evolve this month, and to guide us on our next step to our Highest Good. The general feelings of change and transformation, as noted last month, are still present. I am pleased to notice that for many of us the fear associated with the need for change has somewhat abated and we are now ready to face that illusion of F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) with a plan of action. Time to suit up, Lightworkers, and follow divine inspiration to our goals and sacred missions!

The most prevalent energy animating our hearts this month is the need to Stand Our Ground (7 Wands/Spirit). Be assured we are being tested and challenged; have faith that this is for our higher good. Our metal is being tested so that we can find within ourselves the inner strength, courage, wisdom and divinity to follow our path.  No matter how hard or overwhelming tasks and decisions may appear this month, we must remember that Love conquers all fear. Now is not the time to surrender or to give up control to others (other than Spirit!). Now is not the time to play small and unimportant. Rather, now is the time to stand up for what we value; it is time to infuse our core belief system with Love and Joy. It is time to look within to find that our heart is a divine compass faithfully guiding us to our highest destiny. With faith and courage, we will bring more Light to our life and to the World. (I am reminded here, with loud singing in my head, of a children’s series, Bob the Builder with his cheerful team affirming for each task, “Can we do it?” and all to cheer in a loud voice, “YES WE CAN!” Why not use Bob the Builder as our mascot and totem for this month?  Spirit world is certainly having fun with it! LOL)

Our next step in our journey is to heed divine guidance. Trust and follow your intuition. Listen to that gut feeling. Pay attention to recurring messages and dreams. Follow that longing and tugging in your heart, and know that these physical feelings are divine messages speaking to you of Spirit’s plan for you. Act upon that which uplifts your mood and your vibration.

Our helper this month (other than Bob the Builder!), is the Arrow Master. Call upon his energy to help you clarify your goals and objectives. Are you still shooting in the right direction? Are you still following worthy goals and aspirations that serve the highest good, or have you slipped into self-serving goals based on fear and self-pity? The Arrow Master will help you shoot for the stars and will help steady your arrow so that it reaches its divine objective! Deliberately focus your intentions on manifesting your dreams, and align your intentions with Spirit, then release them – and your attachment to them – allowing Spirit to guide them to the right target. Invite in the archetypal Robin Hood into your life and take delight in your ideas finding their mark and in your goals being met with such mastery (I was a teenager in the 90’s and Prince of Thieves was very dreamy to me... I had the poster in my locker for 2 years!). Shoot your arrows with faith and confidence, trusting in Spirit that your best intentions and highest dreams will find their mark. Know that everything Spirit does for you is done with Love and for your highest good and the highest good of all.


Spiritual Assignments This Month

• Stay strong in body-mind-spirit. Maintain your health 
• Take daily baths with up to 2 cups of sea or Himalayan salt and a few drops of essential oil: lavender to purify, release and relax, or citrus to purify and energize. If you prefer to shower, use a salt scrub. Throughout the day, use a pump bottle to spritz infused water around your energy body and to clear your workspace (mix 5 drops essential oil and 1 tsp sea salt to 1 cup distilled water, blessed with your positive intention and affirmations.) 
• Celebrate the changing seasons; relate the seasonal change to the ebb and flow in your life
• Enjoy – with moderation – the bounty of fruits, vegetables and pies of the season! 
• Take time to exercise and stretch your body. A flexible mind rests at ease in a flexible body. 
• Examine your core values and beliefs; are you living in congruence with them? What can you shift in your life to live more aligned with your heart and the highest common good? 
• Find training that will enable you to develop your intuition and your ability to perceive divine messages. (I would be happy to bring my Lightworker Development Training to a place near you – ask me how!) 
• Examine your goals and objectives, then release them unto Spirit. Trust that your highest good will manifest, that your dreams will find their mark. 
• Pray that the Divine Plan can embody on Earth; know that you are integral part of that Plan. Ask how you may serve in this moment to bring more Love and Light to your life, to the life of those around you, to your community and to our beautiful planet. 

Share your experience of this month's energy below.  What are you doing to lovingly stand your ground this month?  How do you stay centered in Spirit?  How do you listen to divine guidance?  How do you ensure your objectives are aligned with Spirit's plan for you? 

Many joyful blessings on your journey!